Tag Archives: Christmas

I Humbly Apologise For Being A Grinch

I have been so bad tempered, its not good. So I apologise. Things are looking up and I’m actually looking forward to Christmas.
One thing that sparked this change of attitude is something I heard on the local radio station today. There was a news bulletin about a family whose house burned down  today. Luckily nobody was hurt but they’ve lost everything, just a few days before Christmas. Anyway,within an hour of the story being broadcast, the staff of the radio station had offered to buy all the Christmas presents the family had lost, a landlord phoned in and offered a house free of charge, and many others have offered all the furniture and loads of money to help the family out. People of South Yorkshire are amazing.

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Last Minute Shopping – Don’t.

When I die I am going to be canonised as the patron saint of Last Minute Shopping – St. Nina of the Gentle Breakdown.  I’m going to ensure that the city council erect a forty foot statue at the top of Fargate, (our main town shopping street), where the benevolent sweep of my outstretched arms shall belie the baleful glare of my ruby eyes.  There will be a pool at my gold plated feet where weary, weeping shoppers can throw their credit cards, (or themselves), and a machine inside my evilly grinning mouth will be primed to deliver a malevolent cackle every fifteen minutes which will terrify screaming, tantrum throwing children into silence for at least three days.

Next year I am going to start shopping in February.

 

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Empty The Fridge

English: Tomato soup served hot or cold.

Image via Wikipedia

I had no idea what to cook  tonight.  I’ve had a horrible cold for two days and just couldn’t be bothered to go shopping so it was a fridge raid – not that there was a lot to go on.  Anyway, spring onions, half a yellow and a red pepper, cherry tomatoes, passata;  the remains of a bag of rice and a teaspoon of smoked paprika and I had , with the addition of vegetable stock, a very nice tomato soup.  And  it was ready in time for me to watch ‘Masterchef:The Professionals’. *mutters rude word*.

Gleneagles Hotel, Perthshire. Tourism is one o...

At the moment it’s the semifinals so there are two of the contestants in an incredibly upmarket restaurant, first cooking service and then for the head chef of the restaurant.  Tonight they’re at Gleneagles in Scotland, ( 2 Michelin stars and a swankygolf course. ), and they’re both getting their timings completely out.    Obviously, I’m so talented that I regularly serve an eight course dégustation menu whilst looking after hyperactive 2 year old octuplets and selling my Picasso collection to Sothebys over the phone.  God, I’m a legend.

Anyway, back to reality – (I think I need to cut back on the Lemsip) – tomorrow is bread baking  day, and I might just have to indulge in jam tarts and biscuits as well.  If I’m going to feel sorry for myself then I need to do it with plenty of sugar.  Roll on the weekend – Christmas shopping, via Waitrose…

Bye for now. *sniff*

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